Since Parker’s arrival I’ve had some lovely comments asking how I’m getting on as a mother of two now, so I thought I’d share an update with you all focusing on some of the common talking points surrounding welcoming a second baby. I still can’t believe he’s already six-weeks-old, these precious first weeks go far too quickly.
The newborn stage is easier second time round…
This has definitely been true for me. Everything with Parker has felt easier, from breastfeeding to settling him. I think as a second time mum there’s a confidence there that you don’t have with your first – It’s all much less of a shock to the system. This is probably helped by the fact that after having a toddler, you realise babies are a lot easier in comparison!
Of course it can still be hectic, as I’m feeding Parker on demand whilst trying to stay on top of everything else too. But a life saver for me has been a baby sling and investing in a slow cooker! By the end of the day I tend to not have the time (or the energy) to spend an hour in the kitchen, so at breakfast or lunch I’ll also put dinner on – it’s amazing how much better this system works for us. Also Cook freezer meals are brilliant for days you simply need to take easy.
Juggling two when out and about…
Personally, I’ve found this transition the trickiest part. In fact, my first trip to the park alone with my two boys was a huge learning curve! I chose a terrible windy day and nothing went right, which ended in tears all round. It was definitely a blow to my confidence and it felt like all eyes were on me at the time. But from that outing alone I quickly sussed what I needed to do differently the following time and thankfully from there it’s gotten a bit easier.
It’s true that everything also takes A LOT longer when you have two little people to coordinate. Even when I leave myself loads of time, we still seem to leave the house later than planned. I try not to give myself too hard a time over this and remind myself to slow down and not rush, as this only adds to the stress. People tend to be more understanding then you think.
Despite my worries about jealousy, Finlay’s loved stepping into the big brother role. From the start we’ve made sure he’s felt as involved as possible and have reiterated that Parker is his baby brother. It’s been amazing watching him enjoy helping us out, from rocking Parker’s carseat when he’s crying to carrying his little brother’s nappies up the stairs. It’s pretty darn cute!
There’s been the odd moment where Finlay’s gotten annoyed with his new sibling (he might have pinched Parker’s foot one time when I wasn’t able to give him my attention right away…) but all in all it’s been a much smoother transition then I’d imagined it would be. No doubt down to sheer luck!
Post Baby Blues…
This is something not many mums bring up, but is something I feel we should be more open about. Postnatal depression is more common than many people realise, affecting around one in 10 women after having a baby.
Since having Parker I’ve definitely had the odd days where I’m not feeling myself and just a bit flat for no particular reason. It’s easy to feel like you’re losing your identity when you’re on the clock 24/7 and haven’t even had a chance to shower. It can be hard, but I try to remind myself that it’s ok to surrender to this chaotic baby/toddler stage.
As a pick me up, something we did this time round (a month or so after Parker was born) was treat ourselves to a family night away at a nice local hotel. It was lovely to have a change of scene, eat some amazing food and sleep in a ginormous bed. I’m so glad we did this, as I think we all needed a little boost after those busy and sleepless few weeks.
Do you have two (or more) kids? I’d love to hear how you got on in those first few months and if you have any tips to share.
– Steph x